2007年11月1日 星期四
My major is electrical engineering (1st)!!
When I had graduated from junior high school, my grade was very bad on senior high school united entrance examination, so I had chosen evening class of vocational school, why chosen the electrical engineering, because it learning range is very large, we can learn knowledge of other department, in the past electrical engineering almost learns power but it towards control system and communication, now.
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1.Topic sentence : my major is Electrical Engineering
2.
3.你可以針對選擇電機之後,學到的哪些知識多做說明
4.
5.有些說明比較離題了,像高中畢業的那些說明
6.有,都有繞著主題句在說明
7.
8.可以多加說明是誰影響你的選擇,選擇後的影響和未來希望如何?
1.Topic sentence:My major is
electrical engineering.
2.support:
A.learning range is very large.
B.we can learn knowledge of
other department.
3.對於Topic sentence這方面的敘述太少，
後段敘述的是過去電機學習領域有哪些，有
點偏離主題。
4.support只有兩個部份，可以再加一些句子 讓文章更加精采！
5.前半段的求學過程可能與Topic sentence
比較確切的關係，可以省略一點點。
6.sorry, I don't think so.
7.I'm sorry.
8.可以多敘述真正選擇的契機，而電機領域很 廣泛，是哪一部分真正挑起您的興趣呢？
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